A month long lesson

I haven't blogged for a MONTH?!?!  Wow, that is so not like me.  I would just give the same excuses of "I've been so busy" but this has become a really OLD excuse and I just don't like it anymore.  I've had some awesome opportunities to do some things that I LOVE, but it helped me realize what I love MORE.

First the things that I LOVE that have kept me sooooo busy:

This was a dessert table for guests at a wedding sale.  It was so much fun, I loved doing it!!  BUT it was a lot of work too.  I didn't even get paid for it, I traded the table space for it.  I don't know what I was thinking.  I guess I just wanted to prove to myself that I could do it.

More busy things:

This dessert table was for a smaller wedding reception inside a home.  It was so much fun to plan it and set it up!!  I really LOVED doing it, I loved the response I got from the guests about the food and the table, and I really loved getting paid for all the work!!!

BUT

I realized what I love MORE

I realized that I love laundry, carpooling, baking pies and cookies for my boys, cleaning my kitchen, doing art with my 5 year old, watching movies on lazy Sunday afternoons, visiting my elderly friends, teaching lessons at church, making awesome treats for my neighbors and being available to my friends and family when they need me.

I couldn't do any of these things when I was focused on doing these dessert tables.  I was in the "zone" and I don't do well at home in that "zone"  I focus so much on the task at hand that I forgot about being a mom and friend and homemaker.

I don't know why I took this on either.  I think it may have something to do with me trying to prove that I could do it.  I wanted to feel validated in my skills and I wanted to feel like people noticed me and my talents.  It isn't something you get a lot staying at home.  

But I don't want to be noticed anymore.  

I want to use my gifts to make my family life better.  I want to use my gifts to serve others.  I want to use my gifts to make a difference (however small) in my children's lives.  Maybe that is why Heavenly Father has given them to me.  Not for the world to see, but for my family to grow.  

I am so blessed.  I have so many interests and talents.  I just need to use them in the right ways.  It is much more satisfying and fulfilling to use them to bless the ones I love the most.  So, as of now, I am going to work.  I am working full time at a job that is harder than any I've ever done, and the pay really sucks.  

Good thing I love my job.  Beth